I really don’t know how to start this. There are some things that families do, that it’s just impossible to understand why or how that could happend.
Sometimes you can’t stand them, Sometimes disappear, Sometimes Hug them, kiss them or kill them.
Sometimes you feel loved, Sometimes you fell away, And even sometimes the only thing you can do is accept or forget.
The fact that we love our family is because they are part of our reality, the reality in which we grew up or go threw. We as new human beings didn’t have another choice or nothing else to do. Either we accept our family or leave alone the rest of our lives.
There’s a huge part of our family that we actually choose; we call it friends, partners, family-in-law… We chose those people to live our lives, share memories, share believes. But all come with a cost.
One thing I learned is that in order to live with other human beings, you need to balance the trade-offs (yes, all in live have trade-offs) and the ability to forget about ourselves and out in the shoes of others. Empathy is not just about understand that your reality is not the only and true reality in which the world revolves around, is the ability to really connect with the feeling and thought of the reality of the other person. The fact that you think you are right on the way you interpret or see something, is in fact the privilege that you have in order to embrace and understand the situation.
This could sound is not related but, lately me and my wife are attending to some parent help sessions to help us understand why our eldest daughter has certain behaviors that we do not see as appropriate and we want to know how and what we can do to change it. And what we found is that we were expecting an adult behaviour to a 6 year-old child, that her only reality has been living alone with us.
After the sessions we have realized that many of the problems are due to reacting to certain situations expecting a response from an adult, and not from a six-year-old girl. We now have the understanding and the tools (emotional and logical) to control and react in the most respectful and appropriate way.
What I’m trying to say is that the most important thing to do when you are dealing with problems with others, is to be brave enough to assess the situation from another perspective, and forget about yourself and your ego for a moment. Think about how your actions (or your no-actions) will affect that situation in a good or bad way. Be brave enough to say sorry, brave enough to stand for what you believe is good eventhough you know it hurts, be brave enough to put your ego aside and if you really want that relationship to work, really try to get to a common ground and understanding of the situation, be brave enough to act with your heart and what you feel.
Life is too short to put your ego in front of your love ones.
Take you head out of you ass you piece of shit, stop acting like the king of the world and be a man and speak things up front. You know who you are.
Maybe this doen’t make any sense to many people (or anybody), but I needed to get this out of my head…